It was Wasn't it
by TheGreaterFool
Summary: it is a sad story about a man living on with without the love of his life.


**So im warning you it is sad. I cried while writing it. To get the full effect listen to Clair de lune (on repeat) because thats what i listened to while i wrote it. I fought myself on writing this because i thought maybe it was to soon for me to go down this road but i couldn't get Will's eyes out of my head. Also thank you for all the positive feed back i have been receiving. **

* * *

Will watched as the rain hit against his bedroom window. Curled up in a ball on his side of the bed he couldn't even bring himself to look at her side. He left her pillow with the indent of head in it. The pillow still smelled like shampoo from her damp hair laying on it after an evening shower. Will watched his clock hit 6:00am. He shut his eyes and wished for it all to be a dream. But when his eyes opened and all he could do was breathe.

This morning was not like normal mornings. This morning would be the morning he would say goodbye to his wife for the last time. They never had any children. As much as both he and Mackenzie wanted one it never happened.

He made himself breakfast. A cup of coffee and toast was about all his stomach could handle. He got dressed in his suit. As he tightened his tie he remembered all the newscasts that Mackenzie would do it for him. He would fall in love with her all over again whenever she would tie his tie for him. They always would stare at each other and as she would pull to tighten the knot and Will would lean in and kiss her.

He reflected on his himself in the mirror. Hoping he gave her everything he could. Wishing he wasn't so foolish and praying that she was standing right beside him. Whenever one of them would stand in front of the mirror in the bedroom the other would sneak up from behind and wrap their arms around one another. That action led to many late mornings into work.

* * *

"You look very handsome Mr. McAvoy," Mackenzie wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Are you not showing up for work today or is it causal Wednesday?" Will turned around and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead before laying a soft kiss on her lips.

"I thought maybe we spend some more time in bed today," Mackenzie started to pull Will back toward the unmade bed.

"You are the boss," Will said as he tangled his fingers with hers and kissed her on the lips again.

* * *

His thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door. There were only 2 people in the world right now that didn't have to be buzzed up. 1 was Lonny and the other was Charlie.

Will walked to the door and it was Charlie standing there with his bottle of bourbon.

"Let's drink," He walked in the apartment and into the kitchen.

"I… I can't drink today Charlie," Will stood next to him at the counter.

"Just one?" Charlie poured and handed him a drink.

Will took the glass and threw it back into his mouth. It didn't change anything.

"Will I saw you grow as a man over the past couple of years. I saw you happy I saw you sad I saw you when you wanted to give up and then I saw you madly in love."

Will walked over to a photo sitting on a bookcase in the small opening that connected the kitchen to the living room. He held it in his hands and a tear dropped on it.

Charlie set his glass down and walked up behind Will and placed a hand upon his shoulder.

"Honeymoon?"

"Yea," Will laughed a little. " I don't know why Mackenzie insisted on going to an island for our honeymoon. She wouldn't go in the water because of the Jellyfish." Will placed it back down on the bookcase.

* * *

"Mackenzie I don't understand why we came to a beach if you wont even go in the water."

"I like the beach and everything about it," She said with a stubborn smirk as she applied suntan lotion to her arms.

"Jellyfish?"

" I don't like Jellyfish and that is perfectly normal!"

"Fine. Fine alright you win but you missed a spot Mac!"

"Where?"

"Right here," Will leaned in and put a dot of sunscreen on her nose.

"Hey!" Mackenzie threw some on his face.

" Oh no you don't." Will lunged at her and tackled her backwards onto her back and kissed her.

Mackenzie put her arms around him and kissed Will back. They spent the rest of the day talking and reading and staring up at the clouds trying to convince each other that they looked like animals.

* * *

"Will. Its time to go now."

Charlie and Will left the apartment and headed for the car. Instead of Lonny driving he was a passenger in the back seat with the two men. A limo took the 3 of them while other limos where scheduled to take the rest of the team to the funeral.

The rain had stopped by the start of the ceremony. The ceremony was small. It wasn't anything to big. It was just close friends and a few family members.

When everything was over Will walked up to the casket where Jim was trying to hold back tears.

"It's okay you know to cry Jim," Will put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know," Jim looked up at Will. " She taught me everything I know Will. She was my best friend. We went to a war together. I trusted her with my life,"

"Jim, always know how proud she was of you. She always knew how you were going do great things. She trusted you with her life," Will looked firmly at Jim. Jim shed a tear.

"I just can't believe she's gone," Jim finally broke down.

"I can't believe it either. She was the only woman I loved. She was the only woman that kept me on my toes. She believed in me and made me a better man. We will make it but it's going to be hard."

"Thanks Will."

"Don't thank me. Thank Her."

"Thank you Mackenzie," Jim looked down at the casket and then up at Will.

"Jim," a soft voice from over the hill yelled. It was Maggie.

"Go. Ill be okay," Will nodded at Jim.

"If you need anything Will…"

"I know Jim I will. Now get out of here and make her proud.

"Yes sir."

Jim left and met Maggie at the top of the hill. Both looked down on Will and smiled. Will acknowledge them and watch them hold hands and walk away.

It as finally time for Will to say his final goodbye to the thing that ever made sense and no sense at all.

Will brought a chair close to her side.

"You know when you walked into the office so many years ago all I noticed was your legs and your red shoes. Then you opened your mouth and I fell in love with your voice and then your smile and then your ideas. The more time I spent with you the more I fell in love with you," Will rubbed his hands down his face. "Mac. Mackenzie. You were the only thing I ever needed in this messed up world to live. You brought new life to me. The 3 years we spent apart where the most awful years of my life. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being a jerk when you came back. We could have had so much more time together. But no! I am not going to grieve in guilt. We had an amazing life together. I just wish I didn't have to spend any more time without you. It was a great life we had. I hope you can agree," Will stood up and put his chair back. He turned back at the casket and let the men know he was ready.

The casket was lowered into the ground. Will looked up from the ground and saw a paper floating by. It got stuck on his shoes so he bent down to pick it up. The paper read:

It was.

It reminded him of the day at Northwestern and the day she told him it was she he saw and not medicine. Will smiled at the paper and put it in his pocket.

He walked up the hill with his hand in his pocket.

"It sure was, wasn't it?"


End file.
